BASEketball
Trey Parker and Matt Stone captain this overlong, dated and unfunny dud that fails as both a comedy and a sports movie.
PRE-GAME ⚾️🏀
Welcome back to Balls on Film! 👋🏻
I hope everyone has been able to enjoy some sunshine this week. I don’t know what it’s like where you are, but here in Scotland, you’d be forgiven for thinking it’s already October. The temperature has dropped, the rain has been constant and everything has been particularly dull and grey - even for Scotland. Starbucks has also rolled out the pumpkin spice coffee even earlier than usual this year. I love autumn has much as the next person, but even with the awful summer weather, it’s still way too early for that.
When you think of movies based on fictional sports, BASEketball is usually the one that first comes to mind. There’s a few others that I can think of off the top of my head like Rollerball and Reel Steel, but BASEketball is where I felt we should start in this subsection of the sports movie genre. It totally passed me by when it was first released, and I was hoping for a silly Dodgeball-esque sports comedy that would brighten up this damp, dreary August that we’re having.
Unfortunately, my hopes were quickly dashed. BASEketball is terrible.
FIRST HALF ⚾️🏀
This review is probably going to be fairly short, as I don’t have a whole lot to say about BASEketball. That’s because, for the most part, I just badly wanted it to be over.
BASEketball tells the story of two childhood friends and aimless slackers, Joe ‘Coop’ Cooper (Trey Parker) and Doug Remer (Matt Stone), who inadvertently invent a new sport that becomes a national sensation. They team up with a billionaire to establish a professional league founded on principles of equal pay for all players and prohibiting teams from relocating to other cities. As the league grows, their team becomes the last obstacle preventing a rival team’s owner from implementing major rule changes that could compromise the sport’s integrity.
This was my first time watching BASEketball, and for the first five minutes or so, I was hooked. The first five minutes of this movie feel so ahead of its time. It’s a scathing, satirical commentary on modern-day athletes’ obsession over their own image and caring more about post-play celebration than anything else, as well as the over-commercialisation and greed found in sports. Considering this was released in 1998, you’d almost be forgiven for thinking you were watching a documentary for the first five minutes, if you saw this for first time in 2024. I was half-expecting one of the football players to break out the griddy (that’s what the kids call it, right?). I sat there enthralled by this opening bit of exposition and thought - so THIS is what BASEketball is all about?!
Then, however, the real movie got going.
I’m certainly not above a bit of juvenile humour, but it needs to actually be funny. Outside of a couple of decent gags, BASEketball falls flat as both a comedy and a sports movie. I was surprised to learn that this came from David Zucker, writer and director of Airplane! and The Naked Gun, two of my favourite comedies. This doesn’t come close to reaching the heights of either of those, and the crude jokes and slapstick feel tiresome and forced. I was expecting a fun, zany sports comedy, but I just found it annoying and it felt as though it went on forever. The most impressive thing about this movie is that it makes 103 minutes feel like 180. Actually no, perhaps the most impressive thing is that the great Bob Costas was somehow talked into being part of it.. I actually felt bad watching a legend like Bob being reduced to a cheap joke about his nipples being hard with excitement. Oh, Bob…
I did laugh at Trevor ‘Frederick Crane’ Einhorn getting drunk, and a couple of the hospital gags that followed, but it wasn’t enough to make this an enjoyable experience. If you’re wondering if there’s at least some likeable characters to root for, I’m sorry to tell you that they are about as absent as any clever joke in the film. Yasmine Bleeth, who plays Coop’s love interest and head of a children’s charity, is probably the most likeable person here, but her character isn’t given a whole lot to do. Similarly, Jenny McCarthy, who plays the manipulative widow of the billionaire who originally helps Coop and Remer, provides a few laughs but her role is limited.
None of the actual sports stuff really works either. Obviously, it’s based on a made up game so it’s harder to achieve that same level of emotion or for the viewer to feel as invested, but it’s never even slightly engaging. There’s some cool visual elements - the stadiums look weird and quirky, and I liked the actual ball that the game is played with - but that’s about it. The psych-out element of the game is the basis for a lot of the jokes here, but it just feels lazy and unimaginative. After the first couple of scenes, it becomes repetitive and more irritating than anything else.
I felt both relief and disappointment when the credits finally rolled on BASEketball. I actually love the premise, and was excited for a fun sports comedy. The opening five minutes or so are great, and I’d actually love to see a modern sports satire made today that’s more like that part of the film. It’s such an eerily accurate take on some of today’s sports culture. I was just happy to finally be out of my misery, though. Despite a fun cast and a good premise, this one is a colossal dud.
You know when you bump into that person from high school who just hasn’t changed at all? The person you politely humour for a few minutes, but are just desperate to get away from, because it makes you feel sad and awkward? Well that’s exactly the characters Matt Stone and Trey Parker portray in BASEketball, and it’s also probably the only type of person who would still find this film funny today. Leave this one on the bench, and watch Dodgeball instead for a similar vibe, but done way better.
BASEketball is available to rent or buy via most digital stores.
HALFTIME ⚾️🏀
Let’s take a break for halftime.
Here’s what else I’ve been watching this week:
Bad Monkey
I’ve only watched the first episode of this so far, but Vince Vaughn is absolutely fantastic. I actually watched him in Freaky fairly recently, which I thought was one of the most entertaining things he’s done in ages. From the first episode, it looks like his performance in Bad Monkey is going to be right up there with it. Considering this is a Bill Lawrence show, I was always going to watch it, but I wasn’t exactly bowled over by the trailer. The first episode was a much better indication of what the show is going to be, though. Going purely off of one episode though, it does perhaps feel like a show that would have worked better with a half hour format. I enjoyed episode 1 and I’m definitely going to keep watching, but it just felt a little bloated. I’m happy to be wrong though!
Bad Monkey is streaming on Apple TV+ now
Alien: Romulus
Quite simply, this kicked ass. The best Alien movie since Aliens. I didn’t care for a couple of elements in the third act where it takes a couple of big swings, but Romulus was a great experience, particularly in IMAX. The production design, the score and the use of practical effects were fantastic, and Cailee Spaeny is great in the lead role. It’s just the right mix of the horror elements of Alien and the action of Aliens too. 2024 has been such a great year for horror movies, and this is one big screen experience you shouldn’t miss out on.
Alien: Romulus is in cinemas now.
I’ve actually had a bit of a tough week, so haven’t watched as much as I usually would. Our dog isn’t too well at the moment, and life recently has consisted of what feels like never-ending vet visits. I swear that I have more anxiety over my dog’s health than I do my own. I’m hoping that things will get a bit less stressful over the next week or so, but our evenings have pretty much been spent watching comfort tv shows, or falling asleep whilst trying to stay up late enough to watch the Yankees play. It’s tough being a US sports fan in the UK sometimes! Anyway, please hit me with your favourite comfort tv and movies in the comments. I could use some easy-going, mindless, cozy distractions right now!
Speaking of which, does anyone else really enjoy those endless YouTube streams of chill music that are great for just throwing on in the background while you’re reading or taking a nap? I’m a big fan of the Chillhop Racoon. I could watch that little guy study for hours! 😆
Let’s get back to BASEketball and the second half.
SECOND HALF ⚾️🏀
Let’s jump into some awards and bonus content.
BEST SCENE 🏆
The opening five minutes is the best part of the film, and weirdly feels like it predicted the future:
Regarding anything actually funny - there’s not much, but the first minute or so of this scene made me laugh a little.
BEST LINE 🏆
Narrator: The Raiders moved from Oakland to LA back to Oakland, no-one seemed to notice.
MVP AWARD 🏆
This award goes to you, if you managed to sit through this movie.
IMDB TRIVIA HIGHLIGHT 🏆
The movie is based on a real-life game that director David Zucker created with his friends, literally played in the driveway of his home. Many of the reappearing teammates are friends of Zucker and actual original players of the Zucker-driveway game, asked by the director to be in the movie to pay homage to origins of BASEketball.
BEST LETTERBOXD REVIEW 🏆
BONUS FEATURE 💿
Here’s Bob Costas talking about appearing in the film. You can almost feel the regret.
POST-GAME ⚾️🏀
I really enjoyed this post from
about what she’s been watching and reading recently. Sing Sing wasn’t even on my radar, but I added it to my watchlist after reading this:
Speaking of Beth, this note of hers caught my eye recently:
It’s been a while since I saw Love & Basketball, and I remember loving it at the time. I’m going to make it next week’s review.
See you then! 👋🏻
~James
Wow, utterly scathing! I didn't love this back when I saw it nearer the time of its release, and this makes it sound like it's certainly not worth a revisit!
Sing Sing is on my radar, too. I saw the trailer in front of another movie I went to see, and it looks really powerful.
Thx for the shoutout here James. What an interesting film that I’d never heard of. One that kinda reminds of it in the satire department and being from the same period is “Idiocracy” which my husband swears aged well!