Shaolin Soccer
Martial arts meets The Beautiful Game.
PRE-GAME ⚽️
Welcome back to Balls on Film! 👋🏻
I’d like to apologise for my absence last week. There’s something pretty nasty going around here at their moment, and despite being someone who rarely ever catches colds or gets sick, I couldn’t escape this one. I had hoped to push through, and get the newsletter out as normal, but I was so feverish and energy depleted, that I could barely keep my eyes open or hold a proper conversation. I was just about able to get through work, and then I was crashing harder than Netflix during the Mike Tyson-Jake Paul fight.
I’m better now, and glad to be back with you. I hope you all have managed to avoid the winter lurgy and remain germ-free as we get into cold weather territory. Temperatures have dropped as low as a frosty -3 degrees here in Scotland this week, and it’s getting to that time of year where I no longer want to leave the house.
With that, let’s get to this week’s movie. Despite being the second football/soccer movie that we’ve done here at Balls on Film, the two couldn’t be any more different.
FIRST HALF ⚽️
I don’t think I’ve ever seen a sports movie quite like Shaolin Soccer. I’m a big fan of Kung Fu Hustle, Stephen Chow’s more ambitious follow-up from 2004, so I sort of knew what to expect going in - but outside of maybe Space Jam, I haven’t seen such over the top, surreal, physics-defying game scenes like this ever before. I do need to begin this review by stating that as much as I enjoyed the film, I guess I’m still a bit torn on whether I can really say that I’ve truly seen it, since I was only able to find the controversial Miramax cut. Having read into the differences since watching the movie, I actually wish I’d held out on reviewing this until I was able to source it. We’ll get to that a bit later, though.
When you think about combining martial arts with soccer, you probably don’t picture anything too serious, and Shaolin Soccer certainly embraces that. In fact, it’s a masterclass in over-the-top filmmaking. The film follows Sing (Stephen Chow), a former Shaolin monk who wants to promote and use kung fu by forming a soccer team. There’s a soccer competition that is dominated by a character named Hung (Yin Tse), who oversees the ominously-named Team Evil (yep, that’s what they’re really called), who win year after year. There’s also Golden Leg Fung (Man Tat Ng), a once-great player who suffered a career-ending injury that was orchestrated by Hung. With the help of Sing, Golden Leg rallies his own team of Shaolin kung fu masters to enter the competition and challenge the supremacy of Team Evil. Oh, and then there’s Mui, an acne-ridden baker who’s also a master of tai-chi, who falls for Sing. Still following? Like I said, don’t expect anything too serious. This movie is all about having fun and embracing the silliness completely.
I mentioned Kung-Fu Hustle earlier, and if you’ve seen that then you’ll be familiar with this type of movie already. It’s both unapologetically absurd and heartfelt. The game scenes are completely over-the-top and almost cartoon-like in their ridiculousness, with balls catching on fire and players performing gravity-defying stunts. It’s Stephen Chow’s unique blend of heart and humour, and watching this ragtag group evolve by embracing their Shaolin roots that ties it all together so well though. There are so many moments throughout the film that had me properly belly-laughing, and some really silly and surreal lines of dialogue that are as brilliant as they are utterly head-scratching. With a movie as far-fetched as this though, you’ve got to have just the right type of humour to work with it, and Stephen Chow really knows how to put it all together.
The film’s style really lends itself well to having a great cast of supporting characters, and while Stephen Chow is the star of the show, it’s the others who provide some of the best moments. Patrick Tse as Hung is one of the most entertaining sports movie villains ever, and is as over-the-top and conniving as you’d expect a villain to be in a martial arts soccer movie. His corruption, cynicism and willingness to engage in unethical practices, and his history with Fung make for a very satisfying character arc. I mean, just look at him in that image above! I was eager to see him get what he deserved right from that first meeting, and him being so perfectly awful has us immediately invested in Fung, Sing and the rest of our band of misfits.
I’d say that it’s going to be pretty hard for anyone to dislike this movie. Some of the humour may not quite hold up for first-time viewers, particularly those unfamiliar with Chow’s style and some of the special effects definitely feel very rough round the edges, but for me it’s part of the film’s charm. Maybe it’s just because I’m old, but the whole aesthetic just made me feel nostalgic and I had a big smile on my face throughout. It all feels deliberate, and it works. In terms of what doesn’t quite work, the romantic subplot between Sing and Mui is sweet, but feels a bit undercooked. As I’ve since learned, however, that’s probably more to do with this particular cut of the film, which we should probably talk about.
When Miramax acquired Shaolin Soccer for its international release, the studio made several significant changes, including trimming a substantial amount of run time and reducing the film’s length to under 90 minutes, probably to make it more appealing to western audiences. From what I’ve read since watching, many key scenes were cut that fleshed out characters and added more emotional depth, including key scenes at the end of the film and more of Mui’s journey and her relationship with Sing. I’ve seen a few clips on YouTube, and it appears like the shorter cut was dubbed too. I was initially unsure which version I had, as I watched with the original language, but still the much shorter running time. While I still enjoyed the version I watched, and haven’t actually seen anything else to compare it to, it left me wishing that I could’ve found the original cut for this review.
Shaolin Soccer is a fun mix of martial arts, comedy and sports that showcases Stephen Chow’s unique cinematic vision that paved the way for Kung Fu Hustle later on. Its absurd humour, over-the-top action sequences and brilliant supporting characters make it easy to see why it holds such a cult following. If only that original cut was more widely available…
Shaolin Soccer is currently available to rent or buy on various digital platforms.
HALFTIME ⚽️
Let’s take a break for halftime.
It’s been quite a varied mix of viewing entertainment for me this past week…
Bad Sisters
I’m so glad to have the Garvey sisters back on TV. I was absolutely hooked on the first season of Bad Sisters, and couldn’t wait to see how the mystery would unravel each week. Claes Bang as John Paul in season 1 is still one of the most repulsive characters I’ve ever seen in my life. I was a little apprehensive about a second season as the first was a fairly neat, self-contained story - but two episodes in, and all of my fears have been put to rest. This continuation of the brilliant first season is already shaping up to be just as gripping and mysterious as the first.
Streaming on Apple TV+
How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
I watched this for the first time last week. I already talked about this over on Substack Notes, but I’ve no idea how a rom-com about two people who share a love of the New York Knicks has evaded me for 21 years. I loved it. Heartwarming and proper laugh-out-loud funny. There’s just something about these 90s and early 2000s rom-coms that I really enjoy. They all just have a very unique vibe that I can’t quite put my finger on. Maybe it’s the fact that they take place during a time that I look back on fondly myself, but watching this felt very comforting.
Currently streaming on Netflix and available to purchase via most digital platforms.
Till Death
I love when you hit play on a totally random movie on Netflix knowing nothing at all, and end up enjoying it. That’s exactly what happened with Till Death. Megan Fox plays a woman trapped in an unhappy marriage who wakes up handcuffed to her dead husband, and having to face a series of bizarre events that begin to unfold. To say anything more would be ruining the movie, and I recommend going in blind if you’re going to watch this. It’s not going to blow you away, and it does verge into ridiculous territory at points, but the story kept me hooked, and it was a lean little cat & mouse thriller with a great concept - all at under 90 minutes.
Currently streaming on Netflix.
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Now, let’s get back on the pitch!
SECOND HALF ⚽️
Let’s jump into some awards and bonus content.
BEST SCENE 🏆
The team’s abilities coming back to them made me laugh so much. I love everything about this scene. Imagine watching this on YouTube completely out of context too.
BEST LINE 🏆
Sing: “I want to say hello to my parents and my Kung Fu master, but they're all dead.”
MVP AWARD 🏆
As much as I love Hung as a villain, it’s Stephen Chow as Sing taking this award.
IMDB TRIVIA HIGHLIGHT 🏆
In North America, this film received a significant following through pirated copies and Internet downloads, because an official release was never issued. Miramax's refusal to release this movie for nearly two years only strengthened the underground word of mouth, as cinephiles searched high and low for copies of the film.
BEST LETTERBOXD REVIEW 🏆
At times, Shaolin Soccer can feel like a live action cartoon, and it’s one of the reasons it’s so beloved.
BONUS FEATURE 💿
There’s some very cool behind-the-scenes footage here, showing just how some of the crazy game scenes were put together.
POST-GAME ⚽️
That just about does it for this week.
It’s Thanksgiving next week, and even though it’s not a thing here in Scotland, my family and friends over in the US will be celebrating, as will many of you reading this. It feels only right to turn to American Football for next week’s movie, so I’m going to revisit one of my all-time favourite sports films - Remember the Titans.
Last time, I mentioned that I’m working on the Balls on Film Holiday Gift Guide too. That will also be arriving in your inboxes towards the end of next week, shortly following the Remember the Titans edition.
I hope you all have a great weekend, and I’ll see you back here for some Thanksgiving-themed fun next week!
~James
Love this film. If you can ever get your hands on it, there's another kung-fu soccer film - CHAMPIONS starring Yuen Biao, that is more down to earth with a lot more Jackie Chan style acrobatics and feats off physical insanity, less over the top fantasy elements. Well, well, worth it!